Banned Books

November 18, 2009

Dear Education Board of Allegheny County;

Due to rising concern over what children are reading in the classroom, we the parents at Mothers Against Bad Books (MABB), have compiled a list of books to be considered for banning or Parental Discretion labeling. As concerned parents, we believe that children and young adults should not be exposed to these books because of their disturbing content. Please review the list that follows.

And Tango Makes Three
Justin Richardson and Peter Parnell

We do not think children should be exposed to homosexuality at this young age. This book undermines a real marriage and makes Jesus look bad. Plus penguins can’t talk.

His Dark Materials trilogy
Philip Pullman

We think this book represents the anti-establishment sentimentalities. It also has too much violence and makes Jesus look bad.

TTYL; TTFN; L8R, G8R (series),
Lauren Myracle

The spelling is wrong in the title – how do you explain that? Also, the girls in the book are too sexually aware and have foul mouths. This is a very untrue depiction of what our own children are like and should not be encouraged.

Scary Stories (series)
Alvin Schwartz

Satan is bad and should not be allowed in our school system in any way or fashion. He undermines education and wants to steal our children’s souls.

Bless Me, Ultima
Rudolfo Anaya

There is too much violence and it is very sexually explicit. Do not give Satan glory by letting children read about him.

The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Stephen Chbosky

Our children should not be exposed to nudity, even in words. They should also not be encouraged to think about suicide. That is just horrible.

We hope that you remove these books promptly from the school libraries and classroom reading assignments. Having these books available infringes on our inherent rights as parents, and as citizens, to best raise our children. If you want suggested books to take the places of these, we have an extensive selection in mind. For example, The Bible, The Happy Life of Sue Friedman, and His Good Materials are great, classic choices. We are looking forward to this new school year, where educational goals are not hindered by the subliminal messages in naughty books. Please do not hesitate to contact us at (412) BAD BOOK (223 – 2665) or by email at badbooks@MABB.com

Sincerely,

Mothers Against Bad Books

Disclaimer: This article showcases a purely fictional letter. As far as we know at Writers News Weekly, no such organization exists. It is a satirical account of good books getting banned.

Written by Sarah Benjamin
Contact me at sbenjamin496@yahoo.com