Break Free from the Ghosts that Haunt You: Step Two – The Challenge

In the first installment of Break Free from the Ghosts that Haunt You, I encouraged readers to heighten their awareness and identify the internal ghosts or scripts that are limiting your potential. These are not the kind of ethereal spirits that fill the pages of Midnight Revelations, but rather the haunting whispers that were created from each person’s unique family of origin and life experience. The first step in ridding yourself of these counter-productive voices was to keep track of when they appeared and what they were saying. You may have several self-defeating lines recorded or you may have been surprised to discover only one tenacious and toxic self-doubt that your “ghost” repeats over and over again.

After completing this exercise, are you ready to silence this destructive chorus? Or, is giving up the “ghost” too terrifying? This latter question may sound odd to some, but living with ghosts can become…well, easy. Living without these negative and irrational scripts means accepting full responsibility for your life–fearlessly stepping up to challenges, creating and seizing opportunities, and pushing yourself beyond what is comfortable. So if your answer is a resounding “Yes!”, then let’s move forward to Step Two – The Challenge.

For each counter-productive thought you had, I want you to write down at least one alternative, challenging sentence. Let me give you a few examples:

1: Ghost whisper: “Why am I bothering to write anymore? I’ll never get published.”
Challenge: “I love to write. I will get published, even if it takes a while and a few manuscripts to get picked-up. I believe in my work.”

2: Ghost whisper: “My writing stinks!”
Challenge: “I really like what I write. Since I’m not certain how others will like it, I’m going to sign up for a writer’s workshop to get honest feedback.”

3: Ghost whisper: “I can’t speak in front of a group of people. I’m going to get tongue-
tied and make a fool of myself.
Challenge: “I’m an expert on my book…heck, I wrote the darn thing. Even though I am nervous, I’m going to take a deep breath, speak clearly, and savor the chance to talk about my work.”

Even if you don’t initially believe the challenges you write down, remember that these negative scripts have been around for a long time, sometimes reaching back generations. These mental ghosts can be stubbornly attached to the house they are haunting – aka, your mind. So like an actor, you need to rehearse this alternative script over and over again for it to become automatic.
Be sure to catch the next installment of Break Free from the Ghosts that Haunt You. I’ll be tackling Step Three – Translating Thoughts into Action.

step three

Karen M Bence graduated with a bachelor of arts in Psychology from Dickinson College and a master's degree in Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania. A former social worker, psychotherapist and educator, Ms. Bence is also an avid equestrian and dog breeder.