 Poem: Writing Your Way into the Story The Black Genre Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk |
Break Free from the Ghosts that Haunt You: Step Three - Translating Thoughts
Thus far, you’ve completed step one and two in breaking free from those stubborn mental scripts haunting your life. In the first installment, I asked you to pull the sheet off your Ghosts and expose them to the light. At that time, you identified the insidious little whispers that were guiding your decisions and actions in ways that were hindering the achievement of your goals. In the second article, you countered each of these negative and irrational self-statements with alternatives that challenged your psychic status quo. Over the last couple of weeks, you have been rehearsing these new lines, substituting them into your mind each time a ghost tried to gain control, which brings us to Step Three - Translating Thoughts into Action! Are you ready?
The way we think about the world, our place in it and our ability to negotiate the ever changing current of life has a direct relationship to our decisions and behavior. If you don’t think you can talk to crowds because you expect to look foolish, it is highly unlikely you will seek out and embrace those opportunities. But if you did your homework, you’re now armed with a new arsenal that can exorcise the Ghosts rattling around in your head. This new way of thinking sets you up for a different outcome. If that old ghost starts saying that “everyone is going to know that your writing stinks”, you now know to immediately silence that voice by answering it with, “My writing is authentic. I can do this. I know my characters, my plot, and my process inside and out.” Baby steps lead to bigger steps, so start out with a trial or two. The best way to solidify your gains is to begin small. If your particular hurdle is related to talking to groups, invite five or ten friends over for a practice run. Each time the ghost tries to resurface, it gets blocked by your refurbished self-statements. Focus in on only one person at a time, breathe slowly and deeply then start talking. When you’re done, ask for honest feedback. Be sure to absorb the positive and cherry pick the rest. Identify what is valuable advice to build on so that your next event will shine even brighter. Don’t let the typical filter that zeroes in on the negative have free reign or else the ghosts will swoop right back in to take up residence.
The key to successfully translating your thoughts into action is developing an incremental plan that incorporates a series of reasonable steps to test out these new scripts. You shouldn’t jump from avoiding groups at all costs to being booked as a speaker for a group of 500! This would be a recipe for failure. Go through your unique list of mental ghosts, the revised “lines” you have written for yourself, and develop a plan to test out and practice these in several less intimidating ways. It takes reinforcement for healthy self-statements to take hold, gain in strength, and consistently translate into a new repertoire of action! Remember, success begets success.
Be sure to catch the next installment of Break Free from the Ghosts that Haunt You! Step Four – Generalizing and Expanding on your Success.
Karen M Bence graduated with a bachelor of arts in Psychology from Dickinson College and a master's degree in Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania. A former social worker, psychotherapist and educator, Ms. Bence is also an avid equestrian and dog breeder.
