Break Free from the Ghosts that Haunt You

I may write about paranormal phenomena in my novel, Midnight Revelations, but in this instance I’m referring to something different. I’m talking about the kind of ghosts that you keep locked in your head–those counter-productive and often irrational little voices that are adept at throwing obstacles in the way of your success. You may find the idea of ghosts rattling around in your psyche to be a strange concept, but the fact is that no one goes through life in a vacuum. We all come out of a family with a unique style of navigating the world. Our actions and relationships commonly reflect how we have assimilated these strategies into our identity. How we handle pressure, expectations, attention, disappointment, conflict and success, as well as a whole range of human emotions have their deepest and earliest roots in our family of origin and preceding generations. The challenge is in recognizing which of these coping skills work in our favor and which ones become the ghosts that haunt and hinder our lives.

The first step in ridding your life of these invisible stumbling blocks is by heightening your awareness and then listening to your internal script. These may include statements ranging from some occasional self-doubt to outright self-contempt. When you allow these ghosts to haunt your thoughts, they invariably contaminate your self-confidence and erode your ability to seize opportunities.

Sitting in front of the computer screen poised to start a new manuscript, do you question your abilities? If the sentences come flowing out like water rushing down a mountain stream, do you celebrate or do you listen to the whispers that nobody will want to read it anyway? As you’re about to embark on a speaking tour, do you embrace the excitement and or do you stay awake all night convinced you are going to make a fool out of yourself? Are you able to silence that single passing doubt or do you let it turn into a familiar and repetitive chorus? Remember, a negative self-defeating attitude is the quickest and most effective way to achieve absolutely nothing.

So, what are your ghosts telling you? Keep track of it…write it down so you can recognize them when they start chipping away at your self-confidence, because ultimately it chips away at more than your self-esteem…namely, your book sales.
I was recently asked to be part of a multi-author book festival held at a large national book retailer. I was amazed to witness author after author quietly sitting behind a pile of books. Patrons would pass by their tables while they passively sat by and watched. Sadly, only four or five authors of the twenty in attendance stood up and stepped out to greet their potential customers. They told them what their books were about and why they should purchase a signed copy. What a shocking sight–a whole convention of ghosts congregated that day!

If you only care to see your manuscript bound and printed and to sell a hundred copies to your friends and family, then by all means, settle in with Casper; but if you want to be successful, to reach a broader audience, and make a career for yourself, then pull off the old sheet and expose the ghosts to the light. You’ll be one step farther on the path to being free to achieve your full potential.

Be sure to catch the next installment of Breaking Free from the Ghosts that Haunt You.

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Karen M Bence graduated with a bachelor of arts in Psychology from Dickinson College and a master's degree in Social Work from the University of Pennsylvania. A former social worker, psychotherapist and educator, Ms. Bence is also an avid equestrian and dog breeder.