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Dear Lee

Dear Lee,

My spouse is a writer. He’s been published a couple of times, but he doesn’t make near enough money for us to live on. To be honest, he doesn’t make that much at all. However, the way he spins it, you’d think he’s making millions of dollars. Here’s my problem: My spouse, I’ll call him Eddy, is on blog sites for writers nearly 18 hours a day! He’s giving out all kinds of advice—whether it is true, sound advice, I don’t know. I’m an accountant with a steady job. The question is: If it is good, solid information, then, why isn’t he following his own advice? Recently, he has taken to “rating” publishers, agents, other writers and even commented on the janitorial department at a major publishing company. Most of what he writes is very negative and I’m afraid we are going to get sued. Now here’s the kicker: We have a three year old son who has been in daycare since he was six months old. Because of our financial situation, mostly due to Eddy’s lack of a steady income, I was forced to have Eddy care for our son at home. The first week, which was also the last week Eddy “cared” for our child, was a nightmare. That’s when I realized my husband is blog addict. I love Eddy and I want to keep my marriage in tact. However, if things don’t change I’m going to give him a choice: Me, our son and our marriage or those damn blog sites. I’m actually afraid to give him the choice because I believe my son and I would come out the losers. I need help. I don’t know where to turn.

-A Blog Widow
Widow,

It seems old Eddy needs a wake-up call, so you are going to have lay down some rules. Let’s think about this: Eddy doesn’t have a job or at least a job that supports his family; he unwilling or unable to care for his own child properly; he seeks adulation and interaction with strangers as opposed to his own family; he lies about his status and qualifications, he is creating a potential legal ordeal for himself and you since it will be your money to support his defense, and I’m willing to bet that he can’t stay off the blogs for twenty-four hours. You need to get him professional help. You are going to need some help, too. You’ve been supporting this guy for how long and you just realized that there are some major problems in the relationship? If Eddy can’t get in control of his addiction and become a responsible parent, then it is up to you do the best thing for your child. Good luck to you, Eddy and your son.

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Dear Lee,

It was announced on the cover of Publishers Weekly that the magazine co-oped with an author. The publishing trends are changing, but the “informational” sites that claim to help writers are not keeping up with the times. Why do you think that is?

-Out of the Loop
Dear Loop,

Control. And it’s really hard for some people to admit that they just aren’t that good at what they do.

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Dear Lee,

This is a strange one. Several months ago, my husband decided to get a 3000 piece medieval landscape floor puzzle. He asked me to help him put it together. His interest in puzzles was puzzling enough, but this activity seemed to “arouse” him. Anyway, I won’t go into details, but I’ll get to the point. There’s this website for writers (my husband is a novelist, yet to be published) and my husband began chatting with one of the writers, who I learned, is a floor puzzle enthusiast. She is also my husband’s online, make-believe lover. They work on the same puzzle at the same time and share their “puzzling” activities with each other. My husband has broken all confidences and I absolutely will never trust him again. I learned that this woman is married. I have managed to get her husband’s work number. Question: Should I call him and tell him about his wife and my husband?

-Puzzled in Maine
Dear Puzzled,

I can only say that if my husband were involved in online “puzzling,” I would definitely want to know. The call is yours.


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