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Dear Lee

Dear Lee,

I am being badly criticized and made fun of for accepting a highly coveted and prestigious award for my novel from an organization I’ll call the BBBG. It is true that I am an active member of the BBBG. It is also true that I was a former board member, and that I presently serve on a high profile committee for that organization. I am also “involved” with the former BBBG chairperson who is on the awards committee. Nevertheless, I deserve the award. I earned it the old fashion way; hard work and a “git ‘er done” attitude. So, how do I handle the snickers, the loud whispers and dirty looks from my colleagues?

-Not the Kind of Writer who Sleeps Her Way to the Top
Dear Sleeping,

The publishing industry has been accused of being incestual. Your situation seems to give credence to that argument. Here’s the thing about incest: It disturbs domestic peace. And when excessive inbreeding happens, nasty, undesirable, recessive genes express themselves and guess what you get? Defects and disease. The issue isn’t whether or not you deserved the award or took the “hard-way” to the top. The real concern should be for the future health of the BBBG. Oh, by the way, if this was a case of “sexual” incest, it would be criminal offense. If you’re not guilty, stop acting like you are.

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Dear Lee,

I have a serious problem; well, at least I think I do. I hear voices. More specifically, the voices of my characters. Before the voices I used to be an okay writer. Every once in a while, I’ll get an article, short story or essay published. But once the voices start… POW! I’m fantastic. I’ve sold a screenplay and two novels this year alone. What do you think about the writer’s voice?

-Hello
Dear Hello,

What’s that you say? I can’t hear you; someone is talking inside my head. Wait a minute. “Will you please shuddup? I’m trying to write.”

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Dear Lee,

I’m a new, but serious writer. I’ve received my Masters in Writing; I’ve read nearly every book on the craft, and I’m looking for a job in the industry. But I have a problem that I’m trying to come to terms with. Have you read the shit that’s on the Internet about agents and publishers? For God sakes, what’s wrong with you people? It seems to me that the publishing industry needs a good kick in the ass. Who in the hell makes the rules anyway? Agents should do this; publishers can’t do that. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I know there are real professionals who are good at what they do and care about their craft. But where are they? Hiding? I don’t blame them if they are. I feel like ducking for cover and staying there until the Internet crashes, sending these self-serving, negative asshole “experts” back to the hell they came from. Has the publishing industry always been this screwed up?

-Feels Like Staying on the Farm
Dear Farming Writer,

There is a lot of crap on the Internet. Unfortunately, it seems that a lot of people enjoy and even thrive on a steady diet of feces. And as long as there as shit-eaters, there will be bloated assholes. As far as a good kick in the behind, the first group that should feel the pain are the established trade sources that have either endorsed this nonsense or who are afraid to upset the apple cart. You’ve seen what happens when someone tries to set the record straight; they’re made out to look like “scammers” or Internet stalkers. No, the publishing industry hasn’t always been this dysfunctional. It only started when the gates to the basement were opened.

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Dear Lee,

I read your advice to “Editorial,” and you are right on. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of having an affair with my literary agent and it almost cost me my marriage. In retrospect, I was caught up in the idea of being a writer and having this high-powered agent charmed by me and my talent. Yeah, right. I hope Editorial heeds your advice and edits the editor out of her life story.


-An Author Without an Agent
Dear Author,

You’re lucky to have learned from your mistake. Editorial would be really lucky if they could learn from your mistake, too. Let us know what you’ve decided, Editorial.

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Submit Your Questions to: dearlee@writersnewsweekly.com.