Home

Horoscopes


The following horoscopes are for entertainment value only. These statements have no reliable basis in fact.

Aries (March 21 - April 19) RamWriter, what’s wrong with a little competition? You know your writing is solid and has a unique style. The time has come to enter into a writing contest. So, put your fear aside and put your brave face on. Get the stamped envelope that’s been sitting on your desk, all ready to go, put your masterpiece in it and drop it in the mailbox. Everyone, from editor, to agent, to publisher, has been telling you to enter that contest. All of these people believe in you; now you must believe in yourself. This could be a huge breakthrough into main stream. Your published works have done well, and you received a decent payoff. This contest would get your name out on the web, and expand your audience. A little exposure never hurt anyone, so get out there and have a little faith in yourself. You may just pull off the big win! Libra (September 23 - October 22) ScalesWriter, You know your protagonist’s history like the back of your hand, and you want to immediately jump in and tell the audience how great he is. Unfortunately, being told about a character is not what is going to hook your readers. Instead, start off in the middle of the action. Throw your readers in unprepared, and they won’t be able to avoid getting caught up in the drama. They’ll have to get their bearings in, and they’ll be hooked trying to figure out what’s going on. Once they’re invested in the story, they’ll be dying to hear more about your protagonist, and you can take it away.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Stop being so stubborn BullWriter, you will eventually need to give into social media if you want to market yourself and your material. Everyone is usually connected to the web at some point during the day and if you don’t join in you’re going to miss out. If you don’t feel comfortable with Facebook or Twitter or blogging get your techie grandson to start it up for you, and then teach you how to manage and update. We all must start somewhere and today is the day that you create an online presence for yourself. Join in on conversations with some of your favorite authors, start a community and next thing you know people will take an interest in your work and want to read some of your material. No one will know about your smorgasbord of excellent writing if you don’t tell people about it. Be proactive and get out there. Your writing is worth reading! Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) You’ve fallen into a tricky writing trap, ScorpionWriter. Your protagonist is just like you—in fact, he is you. You have subconsciously modeled him after yourself, and the end result isn’t good. This guy seems way too perfect—you couldn’t help it, I understand—which may make you like him, but will surely make your readers hate him. Give him some flaws, and make sure not to let him steal the thunder from your other important characters. Your novel is not just about him, or you, as it were. Remember to make the whole story worth reading, and that to make your characters interesting, they can’t be just one-dimensional.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) “Built Ford Tough,” that’s what you claim to be TwinsWriter. What you fail to realize is that not even you, the most versatile, multifaceted, skillful writer in your closest circle, are invincible. Yes, there will be some writing techniques that will challenge you and may beat you at first. Your ability to adjust is what makes you a great writer. You can take criticism and feedback and use it to perfect the technique on a second or third try. Just know that there will be challenges and you must have humility, realizing that not everything you do will be right the first time. In the words of the late Aaliyah (popular 90s R&B singer), “if at first you don’t succeed, pick yourself back up and try again, try again.” Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Editing is an important part of the writing process ArcherWriter. More and more people seem to think that all editing entails is going through with spell check and making sure your grammar is correct. Editing is crucial and you should be eager to do it. Editing gives you the chance to take another look at your piece, see what is the really valuable material at the core of it and then shave off the unnecessary rough edges. Editing will take you one step closer to making your work the masterpiece that it can be. So don’t be afraid of the editing process. It won’t hurt you, and it will help your work more than you can ever imagine.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) “You have to have somebody to write for. You can’t just open the window and make love to the world.” –Kurt Vonnegut
You need an audience CrabWriter. You write these lovely pieces, but you don’t have anyone reading them. Don’t let your work just sit there on your desktop. Print it off, and mail it to some friends, and friends of friends. You have to show some initiative and create a readership for your work. You can’t complain about not getting noticed if you aren’t taking the necessary steps to get noticed. If you’ve read some of the other horoscopes you may see a theme this week, BE PROACTIVE. Writing is a profession that takes confidence, self-motivation and the ability to set your own goals and deadlines. This is no field for passive, quiescent minds. You have the talent and the credentials to back up your writing, now go out there and tell someone! 		Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) You’ve got horns GoatWriter, so it’s alright for you to act like a little devil every once in a while. Your writing is clear, concise and to the point, but it lacks a little of the risqué. It’s okay every now and again to throw in a little racy scene. I’m not saying write anything too explicit, but indulge with a bit of excitement in your writing. It’s true that sex sells, and with a little bit of judicious ribaldry your writing could become just a bit more alluring to readers. One of Shakespeare’s favorite characters was the Bawd after all. So be a little wicked GoatWriter, but do so in a manner that is both tasteful and intelligent.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) LionWriter, this week a friend will let you in on his guilty secret: he can’t get through your book! It’s not that he doesn’t like it, but that he can’t follow your writing. Your poor use of punctuation has got him confused, which is deadly to a writer’s audience. Unclear sentences cause a lot of confusion and give you readers a headache. They deter readers from getting through the story, which definitely ensures they’ll never pick up any more of your books. And can you blame them? I’m not going to read a book I have to suffer and guess through. It’s true, your manuscript will be heavily edited once it’s selected for publication, but if you don’t make your writing clear and easily understandable ahead of time, you’ll never get that far. Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) You need to make up a schedule WaterBearerWriter. The second thing you need to do is stick to that schedule. Writing is fun, but if you’re serious about it then writing should also be your job. You need to schedule time for your writing. If you just wander in and wander out on your writing then it will take longer for you to finish your work. Get organized and set aside some time every day for you to get some work done. Your writing will improve if you give it the time and attention that it deserves.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) The standard convention to “write what you know” is usually good advice, VirginWriter, especially if you are just starting out as a writer and want to work in familiar territory. However, don’t let your writing mirror your life too much. You can’t just write your life story into a book – unless you’ve done something pretty spectacular, it probably won’t be that interesting. Taking too many specific details from your life will get you in trouble with your friends and family, the real characters. You can definitely write about what you know—just make sure you don’t copy your life. Pisces (February 19 - March 20) FishWriter, do you know the origin of your astrological sign? It comes from a story about the goddess Aphrodite and her son Eros transforming into fish to escape Typhon. Why should you care about this? Because origins are important. When you write your story your characters should not just spring into existence on the first page. You need to know where your characters come from and who they are. Knowing your characters will help you decide what their reactions will be in certain situations. If you know your characters you can make everything they do more believable for your readers.