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Horoscopes


The following horoscopes are for entertainment value only. These statements have no reliable basis in fact.

Aries (March 21 - April 19) Congratulations RamWriter, looks like a very special event will be announced this week. Maybe a baby is on the way. Or, you’re getting engaged. Or, that live-in son-in-law finally sold his first short story and he’s getting paid for it. Okay, so maybe he’s only getting two cents a word and the total word count (including the title) is 1000 words, but hey, it’s a start. Whatever the occasion, it will be a happy one. Invite family and friends over to celebrate. This week is a high energy week for you, RamWriter, so take advantage of it. It’s time to clean out those closets and get rid of all the stuff you don’t need (I mean this both literally and metaphorically.) You need to make room for all of the good things that are headed your way. You are going to finish the year out with a bang, and the start of 2009 is going to begin the same way for you. A new position is opening up at work, and you are well-suited for it. It pays more money, however it also requires a lot of travel and nights away from home. Before you ask the boss for the position, discuss it with your spouse or partner. Libra (September 23 - October 22) You’ve been hesitant about working on a big project with one of your fellow colleagues. All you have managed to see are the negatives of the relations and not the positives. If you allow yourself to see what is right about this work relationship, you will find that you “compliment,” not “cancel” each other. My advice is to go forward together. The ideas you have for redecorating are perfect. Expensive, but perfect. Live is short; decorate away!
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) A few minor household repairs are going to have you reaching into your savings. You have a choice: You can fix them yourself now, or you can wait a month until they develop into a serious problem that only a professional can repair. If you have children, they are going to demand a lot of your attention this week. The kids are also going to have you reaching even deeper into your pockets as their social calendars fill up. If you are self-employed, this is going to be a bit of a problem because the money you thought would arrive this week will not arrive at all. Don’t fret; next week, you will close a deal that will bring you a nice income that will help you through the holidays. The rumblings you heard at work are true: Someone is going to be laid-off this week. Relax. Your job is safe. Scorpio (October 23 - November 21) You entered into a new relationship and recently made a discovery. The person you thought was the “one” is not. Actually, you haven’t been with that person long enough to call it a relationship. You simply answered the “call of nature” and it ended poorly, like it has done some many times in the past. By scratching this itch, you lost the love and affection of someone who really cared for you. There’s no going back because that person saw a side of you that they view as “broken.” Wisely, they understand that they cannot “fix” you. Only YOU can fix you.
Gemini (May 21 - June 21) Family dynamics are going to come into play this week, so be prepared to hold your tongue. When you do allow it to wag, choose your words wisely. The situation that has been draining the life-blood out of you this past month will come to an end very shortly. Along with the end of the problem, comes an end to a relationship. But the relationship is the problem so you can’t get rid of one without letting go of the other. The demise of this relationship is sad, yes, but it is also good for everyone concerned. Move on with you life and leave the past behind. The empty space you will fill as a result of this parting will soon be filled with new friends, new places and new ideas. Remember what you love the most, TwinWriter: CHANGE. It is the one thing that keeps you feeling alive and renewed. Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21) Some promises were made, and those promises were not kept. Now you are going to be called to task, due to your failure to perform as you said you would. The problem here, ArcherWriter, is that you have not kept your word before and your excuses are getting old. It’s not too late to come through, but you need to act now. So stop reading this horoscope and get moving.
Cancer (June 22 - July 22) Well, here’s a real treat: Looks like everyone in the family, including the in-laws, have all come under the magical spell of cooperation. The only thing I have to say, CrabWriter, is enjoy the moment because you don’t know when, or if, it will ever happen again. It may be a good time to settle on plans for next year’s vacation spot. Since you are in such a good mood this week, you may wish to connect with some old friends. Take them out to lunch. If you listen more than you speak, you will pick up on some juicy information about a new career opportunity. As far as the love-life is concerned, you need to listen carefully to what your partner has been trying to tell you and act accordingly. A surprise weekend getaway is just the thing both of you need. Don’t think about it…book it! Capricorn (December 22 - January 19) Right about now, you could use a CancerWriter in your life. Why? Because this week, their buzz word is cooperation and you sure could use some. No one in your life is willing to compromise, cooperate or come together. It’s hard to get things done when everyone is tightly wrapped in their own problems. The best thing you can do is take a vacation. When you get back next week, it will be a whole new world. Take some extra money with you in the form of cash. Your credit cards are not cooperating this week either.
Leo (July 23 - August 22) I know I have said this probably several times before, but LionWriters are naturally lucky people. This week you will experience exceptional luck in your love life. If you have not already found that special someone, you have a good shot of meeting him or her this week. The week is going to go by at lightning speed; everything you do will be done with the power and prowess of lion. You will have strangers looking at you with admiration and maybe a touch of fear as you swiftly make discussions. You are a person on the go and this week: Nothing will stop you. Aquarius (January 20 - February 18) Your partner is experiencing the blues. It’s nothing serious and will pass in a few days, but you will have to be patient. Do not push to find out the source of the mood; just accept it as a part of the moment. A couple of relatives who you are close to are going to be somewhat of a disappointment to you this week. You could try reaching out to them and showing them the error of their ways, but frankly, it’s not worth it. They’re teenagers! Enough said. Instead of wasting your time on passing moods and mouthy teenagers, take a look at where life is taking you. Remember that banking deal you were forced to sign that was one-sided and unfair? Well, the bank was closed and the corporate heads are about to lose their heads. Funny how life has a way of correcting itself. You have a sticky situation at work that is developing, but don’t panic. What you ask for today may seem unreasonable, but by Friday, you get what you ask for and more. This move will make you financially whole again. Advice: Surrounding yourself with positive, happy people and say no to the nonsense of others.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22) VirginWriter, you are a natural problem solver. Good thing, because this week you are going to be called upon to “fix” things. First, there are family issues that need to be straightened out. I know it’s frustrating that once again you to have to step in and calm down the siblings, but you’re the only one that can take an emotional situation and work it out through logic. Then you have some needy coworkers who are approaching a new project with trepidation. They are simply afraid they will fail. You’re going to need to show them why the plan is a good one and remind them why they were chosen in the first place. You are going to receive invitations to breakfast, lunch and dinner from some friends. Guess what? They also have problems that need fixing. On Friday, put the “closed” sign up, and spend the weekend recharging your batteries. Pisces (February 19 - March 20) You are going to experience a he said/she said moment this week. Before taking a side, be certain that you have listened to all parties. Even then, you always have the choice to not become the monkey in the middle. It’s pretty much the same in the romance department. It is a bit out of whack. You could try to find out what is wrong and get in the middle of a shouting match or simply refuse to be drawn into a situation that is not of your making. The best thing for you this week is to keep your word, keep your nose to the grindstone and keep out of other people’s business. In other words, you may wish to borrow the CancerWriter’s shell; after all, they won’t need it this week.