No Payne No Gain: Hook

By James S. Payne

Literary agents are bombarded with requests for their services each and every day. To assure the cover letter gets read and not just skimmed, it is advisable to begin the letter with a hook. A hook is something that is exciting that grabs the reader by the throat. It may be a quote, an anecdote, a joke…something that compels the agent to take a nibble. The following are two examples. The first was used successfully with a self-help book and the second with a novel.

“A gentleman anxiously looked on as the fortune teller passed her hands over the crystal ball. She abruptly stopped, frowned, refocused, then again passed her hands over the magic sphere. Next, she scrutinized the message within the inner core of the crystal ball. Then, in a deep, husky voice she professed, ”I see in your future sadness, depression, unhappiness, discontent…but wait...don’t get alarmed…I see you getting used to it.”
People want to do more than just get used to it. They want more than to just cope. (The book) helps people.”
(The remaining portion of the cover letter lays the foundation for the self-help book and introduces the enclosed proposal.)

“As you have done every day, you retrieve the stack of junk mail crammed in you post office box, but today there is a seductively pink envelope sandwiched between the Wal Mart flyer and the L.L. Bean catalog. You hurriedly move to a nearby table and slip out the alluring envelope, raise it to your nose to savor the scent of lilacs. Pavlovian response-like, you open the envelope to find a card that reads:
I need you. I want you.
Lunch, Friday, Noon, Coffee Bistro.
Your heart flutters, you sigh, then you wonder who? There is no signature. Inquisitively you return to the outside of the envelope to find it addressed to Current Resident.
What a turn off. The proposed novel,(title here) turns on and engages the reader.”
(The remaining portion of the cover letter introduces the book and the enclosed proposal.)

Most beginning authors fail to craft their cover letter with the same talent, thought and skill that they use in writing their proposed book. Cover letters that begin, “I am seeking an agent to assist me in finding a publisher for…”attempts to inform or communicate rather than persuade or convince. A cover letter is the first thing the agent sees, and a good hook with the right bait has snagged many an agent. Preparing to fish is precursory to successful fishing.

Dr. James Payne, a nationally-recognized scholar, educator and speaker, is a professor of Special Education at the University of Mississippi and a Fulbright recipient. He is the developer of the PeopleWise Event Management System and the PeopleWise Profile System.