Issue 64

Attention: WritersNewsWeekly is preparing a series on the impact childhood books have on their young readers. If you’re an author interested in being interviewed, or if you think you have a unique perspective on the topic, contact us at submissions@writersnewsweekly.com.

The Writer's Lot

Is there a writer out there who has the perfect situation? I mean, besides your basic hairdresser/reality TV star/writer?

If it’s not one difficulty, it’s another. There’s the mom whose writing time is constantly interrupted by the toddlers who insist upon regular care and maintenance. Or the office worker who gets up at four in the morning to write-and then gets fired because he falls asleep on the job. And of course, there’s the diligent would-be novelist who manages to sandwich in fifteen minutes of writing a day, including Christmas. Then, when this writer’s decade-in-the-making opus is finally completed, a truck slams into her, just as she’s dropping it in the mailbox. “Save my manuscript!” she hollers from the ambulance. Such is the writer’s lot in life.

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The Woman in White by Wilkie Collins

By Elizabeth Milo

I find it immensely satisfying to read a book that is on one of those “100 Books You Must Read at Some Point in Your Life” lists. If you come across one someday, scan the list for the title The Woman in White. Though it may not be the most recognizable title on the list, it is one you should certainly check off—it’s a classic that just hasn’t reached the same level of fame as its canonical cousins. Wilkie Collins was a master of character voice and plot, and his crowning achievement, The Woman in White, is a very entertaining read. It retains the Victorian charm of its time without sacrificing the modern elements which make it so accessible to a contemporary reader.

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The Changing Face of the English Language

Stay-at-home moms and collegiate educators alike are crying out in concern that the English language is decaying right before our very ears. For years there has been a growing panic across the nation that our language is deteriorating into something unrecognizable, and quite frankly, bad. Those who bewail the loudest that the sky is falling are concerned that as slang, “abrevs,” and dangling participles enter the language, English will become something decrepit and twisted. The sensation that is sweeping the nation, though, is founded on some misguided points.

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By Cathy C. Hall

Is there a writer out there who has the perfect situation? I mean, besides your basic hairdresser/reality TV star/writer?

If it’s not one difficulty, it’s another. There’s the mom whose writing time is constantly interrupted by the toddlers who insist upon regular care and maintenance. Or the office worker who gets up at four in the morning to write-and then gets fired because he falls asleep on the job. And of course, there’s the diligent would-be novelist who manages to sandwich in fifteen minutes of writing a day, including Christmas. Then, when this writer’s decade-in-the-making opus is finally completed, a truck slams into her, just as she’s dropping it in the mailbox. “Save my manuscript!” she hollers from the ambulance. Such is the writer’s lot in life.

But let me give you one more scenario, in five simple words: Work-at-Home Writer Shares Office with Work-at-Home Husband. Maybe that’s eight or nine words, but you get the picture. And it’s not a pretty one.

Morning Wake Up

The day begins for me, the work-at-home writer, at around 7:40 when work-at-home husband bounds into the bedroom to begin his toilette. Dearest husband has already been up and about for hours, deeply involved in all kinds of business activities, which for reasons known only to him, revolve around watching sports highlights on TV. But 7:40 is the hour that husband has chosen to bathe, and bathing calls for deliberate walking to the dresser, yanking out drawers, and muttering under one’s breath about favorite underclothes not being clean. After fetching second-class underclothes, husband must stomp to the bathroom where the shower is turned on. Now, I defy anyone to hear water running and not have to get up to use the facilities. So, at 7:50 AM, my husband and I meet, two strangers in the light, exchanging hostile glances.

Mid Morning Rituals

Around 10:00 AM, I, the writer, like to bring a hot cup of tea into the office and settle into some serious writing. The first step of this process involves a bit of “sensory stimulation,” including, but not limited to, bedazzling jewels, the wonders of alchemy, or very cool-looking Oriental tiles. All of which is necessary to the business of writing. Why, I don’t know any writer who can sit down, turn on the computer, and actually begin work. I’ll bet even Tolstoy engaged in the home version of Russian roulette before hunkering down with War and Peace. I, on the other hand, am often cut short in the midst of my morning brain-expanding ritual by the snide chiding from the other side of the office. It’s a wonder I can produce a single word.

The Nooner (Or Thereabouts)

Just when I, the writer, am hitting my stride in the scathingly brilliant manuscript before me, dearest husband’s stomach is hitting its stride in the growling department. It is then, deep in my “writer’s high,” when husband will invariably announce, “I’m going to eat!” If said husband actually left the office, and did, in fact, eat, all would be well. But that is not what said husband does. First, he (loudly) pushes the rolling chair away from the desk. I am still type, type, typing away, in the “zone”, as we writers like to say. Next, said husband will rise and repeat, (in a louder voice), “I’m going to eat!” I will continue to sit, typing frantically so as not to lose the “zone”, because honestly, I cannot figure out exactly what is called for from me, the writer, in this instance. Still, I am not completely unsympathetic, so very often, at this juncture, I will say, “Okay.”

Husband makes his way to the kitchen where presumably he hunts and gathers the food (extra loudly) while I try to pick up the scattered pieces of my writing brilliance. After an hour or so of bumbling around looking for the “zone” and with my “writer’s high” deflated, I head to the kitchen to prepare my own repast. Passing through the family room, I spy husband peacefully napping on the couch, happily snoring in his own little zone. I would be remiss if I didn’t let him know my whereabouts, so I give him a little shake, and announce (loudly), “I’m going to eat.”

Mid-Afternoon Fun ‘n Games

By the time husband toddles back to his desk to “wrap things up for the day,” I, the writer, am frantically trying to get something, anything, done. The brilliant manuscript has been set aside and replaced with a web-content piece on why skunks spray. My first explanation (“because that’s the way God made them”) has been rejected by the Powers-that-Be in Editor World, so there’s nothing to be done for it. Research is demanded, links and all.

Husband, on the other hand, is winding down. So, now he’s added another interesting element to the home office situation: music. Of course, music hath charms to soothe the savage beast, or breast, or both, for all I know. But the kind of music reverberating off the walls of the home office would give Alice Cooper himself a savage headache. But woe be to me, the writer, if I shout anything about the choice of music. Apparently, head-banging music from the 70’s is a requirement for husband to reach optimum business wrapping-up capacity. The article, finally finished by the 5:00 deadline, is a rather unique piece called, “School’s Out For Summer Because the Skunk Stunk Up the Building.”

So, in conclusion, before you, the writer, start bemoaning your trying lot, let’s remember to keep things in perspective. It’s a lot worse for me.

Cathy C. Hall is a humor writer from the metro Atlanta area. She's published in adult and children's markets, including magazines, newspapers, anthologies, and webzines. Cathy's currently working on a funny YA paranormal novel, so if you're an agent, call her. And she means like a real agent-not that creepy guy who lives next door. Visit her website for more info: www.cathy-c-hall.com.

By Elizabeth Milo

Stay-at-home moms and collegiate educators alike are crying out in concern that the English language is decaying right before our very ears. For years there has been a growing panic across the nation that our language is deteriorating into something unrecognizable, and quite frankly, bad. Those who bewail the loudest that the sky is falling are concerned that as slang, “abrevs,” and dangling participles enter the language, English will become something decrepit and twisted. The sensation that is sweeping the nation, though, is founded on some misguided points:

1) There are better and worse languages
a) English is a better language
b) Fancy English is the best language
2) Kids these days don’t know how to talk properly
a) Slang is something that kids use
b) Text messaging is ruining English
3) Languages should not change

Perhaps you nodded adamantly while reading this list, or perhaps you laughed because you caught the tongue-in-cheek tone. But even if you laughed, you may still secretly agree with one or more of these points. Not THESE exact points, of course. Something more like this: The result of excessive text-messaging among young adults and teens is that their language skills are compromised. These young people incorporate slang terms, expressions, and abbreviations into everyday speech which compromises the quality of the English language. It is possible that in 100 years, English could be unrecognizable. Sounds scary, right? Kids will turn in term papers that look like text messages. The face of English will be changed forever—our language destroyed. The simple fact of the matter is that this will not happen, no way, no how.

What may happen is that English will change— maybe a lot, maybe a little. Either way, it’s too soon to tell. But English has been changing since there was such a thing that we could even call “English.” Old English was a conglomeration of Germanic and Celtic dialects. Middle English was a cross between Old French and Anglo-Saxon. Though we recognize Shakespeare’s words, the way his English sounded would sound nothing like our own. And eventually, English will move into a new stage beyond our own. It’s the fate of languages that things will change, blend, and mesh together to form different breeds and hybrids that become the language of future generations.

Back to the issue at hand (a.k.a. the inevitable destruction of the English which we all know and love in t-minus one generation), the changes which we are seeing now are not as alarming as people make them out to be. These are not the precursors to a huge linguistic shift like the ones I just outlined. Little changes, like the addition of slang and abbreviations into a generation’s lexicon, is neither new nor alarming. World renowned linguist and speaker David Crystal recently published a book entitled Txtng: The Gr8 Db8 about the text messaging phenomenon of the 21st century. In his book, Crystal outlines the truth about text messaging and technology. The kinds of slang and abbreviations that enter the language because of technology have been happening for as long as the written word has been around. Ancient scribes used shorthand tricks to save them time and space. Young lovers who wrote letters in the early 20th century used abbreviations like TTFN or SWAK that were just as much a part of their culture as BRB and TTYL are a part of the cultures of younger generations now. Many studies even suggest that because of the amount of writing young people do between instant messaging, texting, and blogging, their writing skills are actually increasing.

Everybody has a rule about which they are a stickler. If I had said, “Everybody has a rule they are a stickler about” (an example of the much dreaded dangling participle), to some people that would have been the reading equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. But it would have been perfectly understood! Language, in its simplest definition, is just a system of sounds to which people have agreed to assign meanings. For any good system to work, there must be rules, and there are rules within English which are simply too fundamental to ever be broken or changed—not because it’s bad to change them, but because nothing would make sense anymore. Avoiding dangling participles is not one of those rules. Even the meaning of words isn’t sacred; we can see how in just the past two centuries the meaning of a word like “awful” means something different to us than it did to readers of Jane Austen. Of course, we add words as well, like the verb “google.” What happens if someday the search engine Google no longer exists? Either the term “to google” would die out, or it would remain in the language as a term which meant “to investigate, or to look up,” and it would become another odd idiosyncrasy of the English language.

Yes, English is changing, but it is not decaying before our very eyes. Small, sometimes even imperceptible changes are taking place in the way we say our vowels, or use certain words, that over very long periods of time result in significant changes to the language. These changes, though, don’t make the language weaker or worse than it was before. Humans have a difficult time encountering change, but if we look at the history of our language, we see that the changes which frighten us now are so insignificant they’re practically microscopic. English has not started spiraling downward, but instead is chugging along at the same pace it’s been going for the past two thousand years.

By Elizabeth Milo

I find it immensely satisfying to read a book that is on one of those “100 Books You Must Read at Some Point in Your Life” lists. If you come across one someday, scan the list for the title The Woman in White. Though it may not be the most recognizable title on the list, it is one you should certainly check off—it’s a classic that just hasn’t reached the same level of fame as its canonical cousins. Wilkie Collins was a master of character voice and plot, and his crowning achievement, The Woman in White, is a very entertaining read. It retains the Victorian charm of its time without sacrificing the modern elements which make it so accessible to a contemporary reader.

The Woman in White was first released in magazine installments, and was such a sensation amongst the public that it remained one of the most popular stories to circulate throughout the 1860s, and spawned all kinds of “Woman in White” paraphernalia. It is told through the letters, testimonials, and journal entries of various characters. Walter Hartright and Marian Halcombe— the lover and sister, respectively, of Laura Fairlie— struggle to protect her from her evil husband and his even more sinister friend. The plot, though somewhat prosaic now, is perfectly constructed to create the utmost possible suspense for the reader. Each incident builds upon the one before it, so that the entire novel is one delicate crescendo. Collins gives the reader enough information to let them feel clever, but not enough to ruin the surprise at the end.

The story is dominated by two of the most interesting characters to be written in Western literature: Marian Halcombe and Count Fosco. The tenacious, brilliant, and man-ish Marian is determined to save her sister Laura, who embodies every stereotype of a weak and beautiful woman that was ever invented by a man. Thankfully, the narrative stays mostly with Marian, whose insights and sleuth-work make her an engaging and admirable companion for the reader.

Count Fosco, the villain of the story, lurks in the background of other characters’ narratives, fooling the characters and the reader by keeping his master plan disguised. Fosco is constructed as the foil to Marian, but her masculine qualities and his feminine characteristics complicate that gender dichotomy. The interesting way that Collins plays with gender and character is fascinating, especially for a novel written in 1859.

For all of its literary and scholarly merits, The Woman in White is a genuinely enjoyable read. Though Moby Dick will always make the Top 10 of Books You Have to Read, its slow—even trudging pace—may not be everyone’s cup of tea. The Woman in White manages to be both a landmark book in the history of literature and an entertaining read for audiences from any decade. So rather than worry about crossing-off books from the lists that Time Magazine and The New York Times make for you, make your own list, and be sure to include The Woman in White on it.

By Sarah Schiavoni and Christopher Stokum

WNW recently spoke with Lauren Hammond, author of the forthcoming novel Love Sucks, from Punkin House Press. Love Sucks is the story of Cara Jones, a young woman living in 18th century England who is turned into a vampire. The novel follows Cara over many miles and hundreds of years, from England to the United States, as she struggles to accept her new life and searches for love.

WNW: We’re seeing more and more books, movies, and television shows centered on vampires. How does your book add to this vampire trend? How is it different?
Hammond: You know, this is a question I get asked a lot. As far as being part of the trend, it’s a book about a vampire, and vampires are a hot commodity right now. The thing I feel that sets this book apart from the others is that it’s more of a character growth novel. The readers can follow Cara through a journey, a journey of what life as a vampire is like through her eyes. I honestly believe that growth of Cara’s character as you follow her through her years of life.

WNW: What do you want your readers to get out of this novel?
Hammond: I’d want them to put themselves in Cara’s shoes. I would want them to wonder what they would do if they were in her situation. What would they do if they woke up buried in the ground in the middle of nowhere, not knowing who or what they had become?

WNW: You mentioned wanting to be a positive role model to young writers in your bio—how do you try to do this in your novel?
Hammond: I do truly aspire to be a good role model. I think I display this in the novel because I, like Cara, had no one to guide me through this process. But your life is what you make of it. Cara has choices and in a lot of ways, the good choices she makes overpower the bad ones. Also, sometimes in life, you are dealt fatalities, and even though you feel like giving up, you can’t. I think that’s a positive message for young readers. No matter how many obstacles Cara has to overcome, she doesn’t give up hope. And I think that should teach the younger readers to keep believing in themselves with whatever goals they set for themselves.

WNW: What other genres have you written in? Do you prefer the fantasy/sci-fi genre?
Hammond: Well, I’m a screenwriter as well as a novelist. I have written, whether it be a screenplay, poem or novel, in just about every genre. I honestly don’t have a preference. If I get an idea for a literary piece, I see the character, and the words begin flowing from my brain to my fingertips. I usually formulate a genre later.

WNW: Why start your novel in the 1700s and not in modern times? What is the appeal beginning in that time period?
Hammond: This is a character growth novel, and you follow the main character from her beginning as a vampire, which is in the early 1700s, to her second awakening in the year 2010. The whole point of beginning it then was to see what obstacles she had to overcome to make it to the present day.

WNW: What has the process of getting this book together been like? Was it smooth-sailing or did you struggle along the way?
Hammond: I would have to say a little bit of both. I originally wrote this as a screenplay first back in 2007. Then after a year, I went back to it and decided it would make an excellent novel. Trying to get something published is never easy; it takes hard work, passion, and dedication. And it also takes the right person to believe in you and your writing. I have definitely received my fair share of rejection letters. But I have always had belief in myself. After all, it only takes one person to like your work, and then you are on your way.

WNW: How do you plan to promote your novel?
Hammond: I actually have a publicist through my publishing company. Her name is Rebecca, and she is absolutely amazing. The best way any writer can promote themselves is through word of mouth. Rebecca is putting together a blog tour for me, sending out press releases, and putting together some interviews. I also have a fan page on Facebook, a Twitter account, and a blog.

WNW: Based on your experience with this novel, what would you do differently with your next novel?
Hammond: Well, my next book is already written. There little things you pick up along the way that you might decide to change. But overall, there is nothing major that I would change about my writing. I am who I am, and I write from the heart.

Lauren Hammond completed her first novel, wrote her first screenplay, and was awarded the Editor's Choice Award and Best Poets and Poems of 2007 for her poem “Summer Days” at the age of twenty-two. She briefly attended classes at Children's Literary Institute for writing. Lauren continues to write novels, screenplays, and short stories, and she aspires to be a positive role model for young people. She currently resides in Ohio, with her husband Samuel. For more information about Ms. Hammond and her work, visit her Twitter page or her blog.

By Christopher Stokum & Sarah Schiavoni
Writers Rules 2-5 were taken from Kurt Vonnegut's Creative Writing 101